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(Sunday, January 04, 2009-)
+3:01 AM]*
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haha ok, so this's the first post of '09. First post in a long time actually, come to think of it. '08's been alright I guess, a lot had happened that's for sure.
hmm I guess one of the biggest things I’ve learnt in the past year is that it’s never easy. And when I say this, I mean nothing’s ever easy, neither sadness nor happiness, neither failure nor success, neither despair nor hope. Life’s never easy, no matter what anyone says or does. It takes a lot out of you, whether you’re falling or running, hoping or despairing, laughing or crying, or just dreaming.
But I guess that’s life, the beauty and agony of it. It has to be hard, otherwise it’d all be pointless, a mere farce, a scam.
It’s been a mad year, and I have many things to be grateful for, as well as many regrets and disappointments. I’ve made new friends, met new confidantes, and lost a few too. From some I have drifted, and it was mainly my fault, and for that I’m truly sorry. I could make a ton of excuses, but the truth was that I was being too petty about the dumbest things, and I couldn’t get over my own selfishness. It hurt a lot, sure, but the friendship should have been more important than that. I screwed up that time, and that will definitely be one of the biggest regrets I have.
And from some others whom I have drifted from, it has been painful. It’s a horrible feeling to grow distant from one friend, while at the same time the same friend grows closer to another. It sucks to know that your best friend ever doesn’t feel the same way, not even close. It sucks to want to tell someone everything that’s going wrong, and being afraid that he’s just going to laugh it off.
So this brings me to another huge lesson from ’08, that it’s okay to be alone. It’s alright to smile for yourself, to try to make yourself happy, to be satisfied being alone, to fight for yourself only. Companionship’s important, granted, but solitude’s underrated.
Yet, I have to be grateful to my closest friends, those who’ve been there for me when I needed them, and even when I didn’t. They’ve been the reason why I managed to make it through ‘08 without too much of the bad stuff, and the contributors of the bubblegum cheer I’ve had.
It’s getting late, and I really should sleep, so I’m gonna end it off here. This isn’t the best start-of-the-year post, nor a fitting tribute to 08, but I’ve said what I needed to say.
adieu
the story ends like this;
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