you typedd*:
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(Sunday, July 20, 2008-)
+10:50 PM]*
# it's time to blog-
sometimes you give something up for so long and you think you're done with it, that you've moved on and you can look back at it and laugh, and see how far you've come and wonder how you could have ever done what you did or felt what you felt.
sometimes that happens, and sometimes it doesn't.
sometimes when you look, you realise that you haven't moved a bit, that you're at the exact place where you fell, and everything comes flooding back.
everything.
i had a dream yesterday, and it was beautiful. it was more real than anything i had ever felt
i could hear your breath, feel your touch and see that amazing smile.
i held you in my arms for the first time, and i knew that there was nowhere else i wanted to be.
i was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time. it was the real stuff, the one that comes with some madness, some hysterical gladness that makes you want to shout and jump and run and dance. it gives you the strength to lift mountains and cross oceans, and at the same time it makes you weak and fragile and vulnerable and silent in pure ecstasy, and it makes you want to cry.
and then, i woke up, and i wanted to die.
because that's the thing with amazingness such as that. once you have it, it makes everything that you have to endure in life seem excruciatingly mundane and plain and dull and boring and unbearably mediocre.
i want my dream back
the story ends like this;
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