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(Sunday, March 19, 2006-)
+11:53 PM]*
# Me,Myself and I-
"Cogito,ergo sum." Traditionally, "I think, therefore I am". René Descartes once said these famous words. However, after fifteen years of existence, I had begun to think that was a flaw in it.
My name is Gabriel Tong, an insignificant boy in the Grand Scheme of God. My name is the name of an angel as mentioned in the Bible, and a special one, since Archangel Gabriel was the one who brought the good news to Mary; that she was to be with child of the Holy Spirit. These recent years, however, I am beginning to think that I am the exact opposite of being a bearer of good news.
The first time I tasted air was on 5th February 1991. How bitter the air must have tasted then, since when I touched it with my tongue I cried like there was no tomorrow. No wonder, what I had tasted was the hedonistic age that this world has come to. The stench to someone new must have been unbearable.
Then, I had existed, according to Descartes, since I must have thought of something that caused me to cry. Then again, life never really began, if I was only capable of emotions, and not being able to reason, to cogitate. How simple those days must have been then, when all I had to worry about was how my diaper felt.
Life started when I was in kindergarten, when I began to learn things about the world around me. I was fascinated with simple words like ‘pedestrian’, and was delighted to show my mum what I had learnt for the day. The plain joy of having my mother’s approval of me could make my day. Life then was at its best; pure, simple innocence.
School started, which complicated things. Marks came into play, something people judged you by. Then, girls became more than just other people. They became taboo, people that if you became friends with meant that they stuck for life. Primary 6 was when stress really began, and when I could not beat my sister’s score, I broke down.
Things have become a whirlwind since then. I learnt how hard it was to lose a friend, and gained others along the way. Work was heavier than ever, and training became serious. I matured in ways that I never thought that I could, physically, mentally and spiritually. I saw things in a new light, and really began to questions things.
This got me thinking that, since I have matured more, then I should ‘exist’ more. But this did not seem to work. The more I thought, the more I realized how small I was, how unimportant and worthless I was, and the more I thought the more I felt that I did not exist.
However, as I matured spiritually, I began to realize that no matter how insignificant one is, as long as one is cared for by one person, one isn’t worthless. Thus, I have decided that I should live for God and the people who love me and care for me. “Loved, therefore I am.”
Word count: 515
the story ends like this;
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